THE SEVENTH SACRED KEY - INWARD LEARNING and STRESS TRANSMUTING
The formative first three years of a child`s life are really important. These first three years will lay down the foundation for that child`s life.
If you are constantly yelling at, or are angry around, your child then you do need to look at what actually is causing the stress. It is not your child`s fault.
If you are not coping with the patterns of motherhood then it is time to stop and truthfully look at your situation and life. For your, and your child`s, emotional, physical and mental health are of utmost importance.
How can we expect to have happy children when we are not happy? If you are stressed then your child will also be stressed.
If we don`t spend one-on-one time with each child/baby we will have an unsatisfied, lacking child that will most definitely cause stress in the home!!! It is as simple as that. Take the time to play, tickle, sing to, or with, your beautiful child. Read stories, listen to music together, walk to the shops together and if your child is still a baby talk to her, or him, looking her in the eyes so that she is reassured of your love.
If Stressed :
Make sure you have adequate sleep. No stimulating drinks just before bed. If you are breastfeeding the same applies as what you take in affects the baby. Sugary foods, MSG, coffee, alcohol, sometimes wheat, carbonated drinks, energy drinks etc all can stimulate the brain creating stress. Delete scary movies.
Some parents have TV on for hours before the toddler`s and preschooler`s bedtime and then wonder why their child cannot sleep! Running around just before bed is asking for self-induced stress. Children cope better with school, kindy, life if they have a good night`s sleep - just like you!
Turn off the computer a few hours before bed. The electro-magnetic rays do distort the body`s energetic field. It is much harder for many people to have a good night`s sleep after they have been using the computer before going to bed.
Get yourself into a routine and stick to it. If your baby, toddler knows the routine they feel safe (It`s an inside thing) and are less likely to cause you stress.If possible have meals the same time each day. Bedtime the same time each night etc.Of course sometimes this is impossible - just try to work within your guidelines! Don`t try to do everything at once, plan your day and pace yourself.
Tiredness and a feeling of not being able to cope (or have enough time in the day) creates mountains out of molehills. Do yourself a favour wash the clothes and then when they are dry put them away. Many people become overwhelmed as the piles of washing, ironing, letters, dishes all pile up! Outside mess is an indicator or red light alarm showing you that some inner work is needed!!!!! Cheat and put everything away. Write a list of what needs doing and do one thing at a time. The world will not stop turning if you cannot get things done BUT if you are stressed then doing a little each day, and putting things in order, will most definitely release some tension. Your partner also will feel happier.
Women are multi-talented. Having children teaches us so many things including adaptability, perseverence, compassion, gratitude, acceptance, forgiveness, LOVE.
Check your diet. Make sure you are eating a really good diet. Brain power, physical power and emotional stability all rely on specific nutrients being eaten. Please re read THE THIRD SACRED KEY - The Importance of Diet.
Watch Yourself and recognize when you start feeling stressed.
Write in your daily journal about what triggers the feeling of agitation etc. etc.
We all tend to revert to blaming circumstances or other people for our problems. " If only he would.......".
"If only I had more time ....". " If only my mother .....". "If only I had more money...". "Why does this always happen to me?"
"I wish I could ....". "If only I had ....". "I am hopeless....".
Thinking or uttering these thoughts and word patterns actually concretes these energies into becoming more of your situation. There is NO POSITIVE energy that can be had from these thoughts/words!!!!!! The `poor me/ victim` thoughts allow your energy, and power, to be leaked out leaving you more frustrated, more upset, more angry and more tired. SO step back and watch yourself habitually respond to the situations that trigger the above thoughts, THEN become more of yourself by repeating a positive statement such as one that focuses on how lucky you are - having a child/ somewhere to live/ rice to eat etc etc. Concentrate on what you do have not what you haven`t got. Focus on the good things that your partner has or does.
RESISTANCE = PERSISTENCE
The more you concentrate on what isn`t happening or what you haven`t got, the more you are pushing away what you do want to happen or want to have!
Take personal responsibility for your actions and reactions rather than blame and condemn others and you will step into the zone of self-empowerment and your inner light will shine more brightly.
What are you frightened of? Write your fears down. Are they real fears?Have you ever felt the same sort of fear or unworthiness before? Think back to your childhood. Write down when you first felt those fears. Have a look at your patterns of behaviour. Try not to judge yourself - just observe your life as an outsider.
Softly watch yourself react to others actions or words. As soon as someone does or says something you feel uncomfortable with immediately think of the situation as interesting. Say to yourself "Isn`t that interesting".
Life is interesting and the way people act and think is interesting. Everyone acts out their fears and insecurities by judging, hurting, blaming etc etc others! The word interesting often diffuses any reaction - it somehow lets you be a watcher instead of a reactive participator!
When your feathers are ruffled think of the situation or person talking, blaming, judging, as
'interesting'.
Manage your money well. Budget. Be realistic. Stop buying "stuff" to fill up your life with. The "stuff" is wanted as subconsciously you need to fill your "empty" life with something. The something you are actually craving is LOVE.
Play more, dance more, sing more, appreciate more, give thanks more, respect more. Be still more. Be creative with your food and be happy with your unique self and your very individual child. Be blessed.
Take the time to reflect on the miracle of creation. See the miracle of life in your baby, child. Hold your baby/child`s hand. Massage her or his back, feet, hands. Look into your child`s eyes and connect deeply.
Keep in touch with friends and family BUT make sure YOU and YOUR CHILD do what is best for you. You are the parent and you know best. Instead of rushing around visiting everyone maybe ask everyone to bring a plate of food and have them all around for a lunchtime 'get together'.
Journal - write down your thoughts and each day write down everything that you are grateful for.
Have a Bath. Massage your feet. Massage your partner and he/she can massage you.
Take the time to brush your hair, play your music, sit quietly with your child - reading, talking, listening. Drink your tea out of a nice mug. Use aromatherapy - many scents are used specifically for stress relief. Ask at the chemist, health-food shop.
Decrease other commitments -your family comes first. Loads of parents try to do too much.
INCLUDE IN DAILY ROUTINE:
BREATHING DEEPLY
YOGA, TAI CHI, WALKING
MEDITATION or listening to a visualization
TEN MINUTES WATCHING THE STARS (no talking)
Please talk to a health professional if you have done all the above and are still stressed.
Here`s to a stress free day -- Breathe
Here`s to a happy family
Cheers and love, CMW
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